I checked into the hospital around 6:30pm on Monday night. By 7pm, they had me in a room and started on a cervical ripening medication as I was not dilated whatsoever. Maureen, my best friend, arrived first to keep me company as my mom was traveling from Columbus and Sam had to work until 10pm. She brought me a wine glass decorated with a baby theme such as "nurse this!" and "I just lost 10 pounds". I can't wait to use it :-) She also brought me a wonderful football that says "It's a boy!" and had a place where we could fill out all of Abiel's information such as date of birth, weight, length and get the doctors signature. Perfect since our nursey is sports theme.
Everyone arrived at the hospital to be with me. Not much to do but sit around and wait for the medication to start working. It did...slowly. Very slowly. There were no extra beds in the rooms, so, everyone just went home for the night. I ended up having to share a room with another girl. Which was fine until she told the nurse that she was there for an "infectious rash". Great. Luckily they moved her. And then they moved me. At 4am I was "ripe" enough to go to a birthing suite. They started me on pictocin to get my contractions going. Sam took off work for the rest of the week, so he and mom arrived pretty early. Good thing they bought their laptops because it was pretty much a lot of sitting and waiting for the pictoin to work and contractions to start. And boy did the picotin work!!! At 3 cm dialated my contractions became unbearable. One thing I've learned about myself through this whole process is that I am probably the world's biggest wimp/crybaby. I was screaming so loudly due to the pain that they gave me the epidural at 3cm dialated when usually women don't get it until around 4 or 5 cm dialted. They said I was "scaring" the other patients on the floor since I was yelling so loudly in pain and the nurse, in a very nice way, said they were giving it to me to pretty much shut me the hell up. It didn't work on the first time! The doctor had to give me 2 doses of it. This knocked me out. I slept on and off for several hours. I woke up only to have people stick fingers inside of me to see how I was progessing and to talk about how much I missed food and underwear since I couldn't have either. Sam also slept a lot on the couch in the birthing suite. Mom and Maureen were being so supportive and loving, Maureen I'm sure was tweeting the whole experience. She was also in charge of video and pictures as she is a journalist. There are perks to having a best friend who is a journalist! My mom was my advocate since I was knocked out a lot...asking the doctors questions, keeping up with my dad and aunt who are both nurses, asking them questions, making sure I was ok and checking on me a lot.
The epidural wore off and I needed a 3rd dose of it. I was pretty much staying at 9cm dialated. They told me to "labor down" for the next hour of two. If I still hadn't dialted to 10...they were going to think about a c-section. After laying on my side, trying to get Abiel to move down and get my cervix dialated to 10, they checked me again. At this point...I was done. We were there for 24 hours already, I was in pain (again), no food or water ....only crappy ice chips....I was sick of being naked, in pain, hungry, tired and waiting. I just wanted to be done. I love you Abiel...but I wanted you out!!!! I also had developed a fever and wasn't feeling well. I was just done...I was at my breaking point.
They said laboring down worked, I was dialted to 10 and ready to push. Pushing was probably the wost experience of my life. I was in so much pain. The doctor had to give me not one...but two more epidural "booster" shots during the act of pushing. Maureen was video taping the whole experience while Sam and my mom held my legs. The viedotape is probably not my proudest moment. I was yelling at everyone, cussing, asking for the pain medication like I was some type of drug fiend, more cussing, more yelling, more telling people I couldn't do it, I believe I asked to die several times. It was the most pain I've ever experienced in my life. Even with 5 epidural shots during the whole 26 hours of labor...I was still in severe pain. Finally, finally, finally....Abiel Samuel Levi arrived at 9:01pm on 7/27/10.
They put him on my chest, but, I didn't feel anything. No overwhelming love like everyone said I would. This scared me. This probably was the scariest thing to happen to me throughout the whole labor. In my head...I was panicking. Everyone said I was supposed to feel this overwhelming love. I was glad he was here...but...no incredible feeling came with it. My fever had spiked to 102 degrees, I was doped up on all types of medications, including 2 shots of pain meds just during the last hour, and I was exhausted. I think that I was just literally out of it. I kinda felt like a zombie. While they were stiching me up and cleaning Abiel up, my mom and Sam were calling pretty much everyone in the human race. Maureen was checking on me and Abiel and she ordered me Indian food. She made a deal with me during pushing...that if I made it through labor I could have any food I wanted and I choose Indian. I was starving and it was such a blessing for her to get dinner for all of us. Everyone was crying, taking pictures, and wanting to see what was going on with the little man. It was a bit scary as he had a fever of 102...which the nurses said he got from me. As soon as I was stiched up and he was cleaned up and swaddled, they brough him over to me again. Ah. This is when the tears started and love flowed. This is the feeling that everyone was talking about. Love beyond love.
I looked at him and was overwhelmed. He looks just a like a white version of Samuel. So perfect and handsome and precious. And he is mine. God has entrusted this little life to me...and I want to do the best job that I can. I was so worried about his fever, but luckily that has gone down. On the way being wheeled from the delivery room to the recovery room, I became so protective. Holding him tightly because I was afriad the nurse wheeling my wheelchair might accidently bump into something. I was starving, but, I wanted to wait to eat because I wanted to try to breast feed Abiel first to see if he would eat. While the nurse gave him his first bath, he started crying. Hearing him cry...I just wanted to make it better. Of course, he was fine, he was just getting a bath...but I just wanted to do whatever I had to do to make it better.
Sam has been such a doting father. Picking him up and bringing him to me as I am still in a lot of pain and it's hard to move. He loves to hold Abiel and if anyone could possibly be more protective of Abiel than me...it's Sam. He won't let Abiel out of our sight. He and I still have a lot to learn about being parents to a newborn...I'm scared about how much I feel like I don't know, even after parenting classes, online support groups and reading books/magazines. I feel so unprepared. But, that is why I just have to take it one day at a time and rely on my loved ones and resources to help me.
I started to cry in the recovery room with Sam. I am just so grateful for my family. I am so grateful for this 8 pound, 5 oz package that God has delivered to me. I'm scared, because I feel like I don't know what the hell I am doing, but I am so grateful to be his mom and I will give life and limb to be the best mom that I can be. I am so grateful to my mom, dad, Sam and Maureen who were with me these past 26 hours of labor and who supported me every step of the way.
He is less than 24 hours old and I'm already starting to love getting to know his personality. He seems to just keep 1 mitten on his hands. No matter how many times I put two mittens on him, one always falls off. He is like his mom and kind of a vampire...hates the light like me! He looks so much like Sam it is crazy. He loves to have his hands in his face...something he also did in the womb as we have ultrasound pictures to prove it. I think he will probably suck his thumb when he is older, I guess hands in the face is something comforting for him. I can't wait to get to know more about him tomorrow and the next day and the next. Of all the things I've ever done in my life...Abiel is by far, the best. I'm overwhelmed, scared, and exhausted. I don't know what I am doing....and completely in love.
the day i became an aunt!
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