4 month stats

You will be 4 months old in just a few days. I decided to weigh you and take your height. I had to do at home with our scale and tape measurer because you don't go to the doctor for your shots for another 2 weeks.

You weighed 18 pounds and were 27 inches long. I'm not sure if this is 100% accurate as we had to do it at home. But, I tried to be as precise as possible.

If my calculations are correct...you are in the 94th % for weight and 96th% for height!!! My big boy!!!

First favorite song

You were driving home with your daddy (mommy was at home working on a paper). And he had the radio on. The song "I whip my hair back and forth" by Willow Smith came on. Daddy said that you went crazy!! You loved it!

He told me this when you got home. I immediately found the music video online and played it for you. You could not take your eyes off it. You loved it!

Looks like we have your first favorite song!!! :-)

So much for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

You made your first deliberate choice today: Saying "screw you" to grandma

Today, as far as my knowledge goes, you made your first deliberate choice today. Im sure you've made choices before...but this choice was extremely deliberate. You were asserting yourself, for the first time! And your first choice you have ever made in your life was......(drum roll please)....giving your grandma the baby equivalent of the middle finger.

Grammy Loreen is my mom, your maternal grandmother. She is probably the only other person who loves you with the same passion as your father and I love you. She drives 2 hours, several times a month, from Columbus to Cincinnati, just to wipe your ass. She was there the day we found out what sex you were. In fact, if you had girly bits, you would have been named Aurora Claire Loreen Nelson, after your Grandma Loreen. She is the only one who gives me a break and will stay up all night watching you so that mommy can catch up on sleep (daddy would, but, he works 2 jobs, so, it's pretty much just me flying solo on the staying-up-all-night business). She hosted a baby shower for you in Columbus, she makes sure you have enough clothes and toys, she sings to you and dances with you. You have peed on her and she just smiled and laughed. She was in the room when you were born, she saw you enter this world. She is the one you will live with if anything were to ever happen to me or your dad.  I came from her, and you came from me.She loves you with as much power and passion as someone could love another person.

So, what was this thing...so grand...so enchanting...so brillant that you would say "screw you!" to your grammy who loves you? A puppet. A puppet in the shape of a duck, a wolf and a cute, but, deformed looking boy.

Today you went to your first puppet show. You saw "Peter and the Wolf". And you were in love. I knew you would be awake for some of it, as you had a good nap that morning. But, I didn't know how it would go. You are only 3 months old and life probably seems like a Salvador Dalhi painting most of the time, I'm sure. I didn't know if you would get fussy and start crying, or, if you would be bored since the theater was so dark and fall asleep, or, if you would want to "talk" and "coo" and "laugh" and interrupt the entire show since music was playing and the atmosphere was fun. It was really a crap shoot how you would react. But, you fell in love. The seconds the lights dimmed, the music came on, and those (mostly) well-crafted puppets came out and were animated ....something magical happened. Your eyes were glued to the show. Some hand sucking, bib sucking and, of course, the need to eat a bottle ensued. You are your father's son...all you do is eat :-). But, you were glued to the show. You couldn't take your eyes off of it. You were in love. You were so quiet....taking it all in, concentrating intently. You smiled and lit up watching the puppets act out the fairy tale.

Grandma had to sit behind us due to the seating. She wanted to see you, so, I turned you AWAY from the show to see grammy behind us. However, you had other plans. You were trying to be nice to grandma, so, you didn't fuss....but....you kept constantly turning your head back to the puppets. Back to the show. You basically said "screw you, grandma, you're nice and all, but, these puppets are where it is at!!!!". You couldnt be bothered with your grandma who loves you. The need to gaze upon a marionet was urgent.

We got the hint and just kept you forward facing for the rest of the show.

So, the first deliberate choice you have ever made was chosing a piece of wire and felt in the shape of a duck, over your flesh and blood grandmother. Luckily, she won't hold this against you when Christmas comes around :-).

And yes, there will be more puppet shows in your future. Don't worry. I know now you need your puppet fix :-).

YOU POOPED ON MY FACE!

Tonight you had your first true diaper blowout. I should have known it was going to come sometime soon...3 whole months without one, I was overdue!

Well, my son, you delivered. Have to give you that. I was picking you up from behind and at that exact moment the planets aligned and you proceeded to projectile poop out of the side of your diaper ON EVERYTHING. I got poop on my FACE, my FEET, the FLOOR, the CARPET, TWO...not one but TWO layers of blankets, your own outfit WHICH I HAD TO CUT YOU OUT OF, your HEAD, EAR, FACE, ENTIRE BODY. I ran naked, screaming into the shower with my clothing on, you in my arms as if we were just sprayed with napalm.

I have just finished using resolve on the carpet. I am washing the bed sheets. You have had a bath for the 2nd time tonight and are snug in a new, clean outfit with a new clean diaper. No one has ever pooped on my face. Well, tonight son, apparently I can cross that little number off the list: get poop simultanously in your eye and on your foot, check!

And YES. For all this crap, no pun intended, this WILL be read by your prom date. Hi Abiel's future prom date!!!! We want you to be safe and have a good time tonight. No drinking and driving! Take a ton of pictures and make sure Abiel is a gentleman and opens your door and pulls out your chair.

 Something this awesomely horrific has to be read at the ultimate embarrasing moment. You pooped on my face Abiel, and your own face. I had to cut you out of your outfit. There are no words.

Oh, and how much poop actually landed in the diaper itself? Yeah. Of course, NONE. :-)

Operation No Vampire

Abiel you have had your days and nights mixed up for, oh, about 2 weeks now. It has been hell. I love you more than air, but, getting no sleep at night has not been easy. Im sure you don't mind that you sleep all day, but, my love, I can't! I've done everything that all the books recommend, that all the other moms recommend. Cereal in your bottle, taking you to stores at 1am to see if looking at the sights/sounds will wear you out, I've even promised you a pony when you are 4 if you sleep now. No luck.

However, tomorrow it is very, very, very important that I am fully awake. Usually, these past few weeks, if I've had to do something, it was ok if I was kinda sleepy. I would drink a cup of coffee and be some what coherant for whatever it was that I needed to do and that would get me by. However, tomorrow, I cannot be even partially comatose. I have to be fully engaged. Why? Because tomorrow I am taking a SIX HOUR infant/child CPR class to learn how to take better care of you. I want to learn what to do in case you need help because of your breathing problems. I also know that you will be crawling soon...and walking shortly after that...and all this crawling and walking is going to lead to you sticking things in your mouth. Unspeakable things that I don't even want to think about right now. In case one of these things-that-shall-not-be-named hurts you, I want to be able to help you. Of course, I dont plan on allowing you stick things in your mouth, but, I havent met a mom yet whose child hasn't ingested something unsanitary. I want to be prepared, just in case. You mean more to me than life itself, and I want to know how to best protect you if I need to. I can't lose you, I need you so, so much. You are my gift, and I will protect you.

So, in order for all of this protection to happen. I have to pay attention in class. And, in order for that to occur. I have to sleep. Yesterday, you didn't go to sleep until 8am. I have to be in class by 8am!!!! So, today is Operation No Vampire. Meaning, little vampire, you are going to have to go to sleep at night and stay awake in the day like the rest of us mere mortals. :-) In order to accomplish this I have kept you up, aside from a very short 45 minute nap, from 1pm to now, 8:45pm.

This has not been an easy feat. We have watched shows, rocked, sang, dance and that was the fun stuff. The torturous part was that I gave you a bath, I kept you naked except for a diaper, I rubbed you down with a cold washcloth when you were extra, extra drowsy. Normally, I try to give you all your meds all at once, since medicine time is not your favorite time. However, today, I've spaced them apart to force you to wake up. Apparently, the nasty taste of zyrtec is a good stimulant.

Operation No Vampire is in it's final stages right now. I think I will give you a much deserved bottle, fresh pj's and a long, long cuddle. You are extremely exhausted and I hope that Operation No Vampire will be a success...here's hoping to wonderful sweet dreams for you tonight, AT NIGHT, my precious baby boy.

You are so funny my chunky monkey

You have an upper respiratory infection sweet, baby boy :-(. It is so hard for me to hear you struggle to breath. They stuck a camera down your nose today, your daddy had to hold you as I couldn't bear to hear your cries. Luckily, they didn't find anything wrong structurally. They are doing cultures to see if it could be something else. I am praying it will be an easy fix and you will be able to finally, finally have some relief.

Right now I feel like Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman except without all of the horses. I am giving you tylenol for your fever, zantac for your reflux, sucking snot out of your nose using saline drops and MY OWN MOUTH several times a day, putting butt cream on your bum because you have had diarreah and have a red bottom, putting you in the shower with me for the steam....I just want you to be better. I would gladly take this sickness from you if I could. I would bear any pain for you so that you wouldn't have to.

We had to buy you a new swing today for an early Xmas present. The swing you have now barely moves...even on the highest setting. I feel bad...like you except to ride the raptor and all you get are the teacups. What is the point of a swing if it doesn't...well...swing? We think you are too chunka chunka now and the swing wont move because of your wide load. Which, I adore. :-) :-) There has never been a woman who loves fat babies more than me...or Chelsea Handler. Google that when you are older.

This new swing has a 30 lbs weight limit compared to all other swings on the market that have a 25 lbs weight limit. We are hoping this 30 lb weight limit swing allows you actually have fun and swing...and buys mom and dad a few more months of being able to entertain you while we get stuff done. As much I would love to entertain you all day, unfortunately, I do have to do stuff like bathe and eat :-).

Your dad put the swing together tonight for you. He screwed something in wrong and became really frustrated. He let out a big angry grunt in frustration...UGHHHHH it sounded like. About 2 seconds later, I hear your sweet little baby voice go "ughh". You were trying to copy your daddy. It was the funniest, cutest thing I've ever seen. I love you. You make me laugh so much. You are better than a Will Ferrall movie, or, riding public transporation at 3am just to watch the drunk and crazy people, hands down.

I love you baby boy. Thank you for all that you add to my life.

Please wake up Vampire baby

Right now you are napping. No, not in your exersaucer, I just posted this pic becuase it is adorable and it proves that you will fall asleep ANYWHERE. But, right now you are napping and every ounce of my being is willing you wake up. I miss you and I want to hold you, snuggle you, kiss you and make you laugh.

Your days and nights are mixed up, which, is kinda hard! So, I am sure that come 3am I will get my wish of snuggles and kisses. But, Im growing impatient...wake up! I miss my boy!! Can we just talk for a second about the day/night mix up? Apparently you had a growth spurt where you slept all day and all night...this confused you and now you think that 2am-7am are prime party hours. Which, would be true if you were a frat boy, but, you are only 3 months old and we have a little while before we have to worry about frat parties and keg stands.

If you wanted to rearrange your day/night schedule...mommy would have NO complaints. None whatsoever! In fact, you could even consider it your Christmas present to me. So far, I have been consuming obscene quantities of caffine in order to keep up with your 3am demands of laugh, kick, play, swing, eat, pee, poop, look in the mirror, and staring at inanimate objects for hours on end. I would like to take you out in the day time, however, but, apparently you are taking a cue from Edward Cullen and/or Count Chocula... you don't like the light. My little vampire child, I love you.

Please wake up before my heart bursts into a million pieces. I miss you and want to hold you so much.