YOU POOPED ON MY FACE!

Tonight you had your first true diaper blowout. I should have known it was going to come sometime soon...3 whole months without one, I was overdue!

Well, my son, you delivered. Have to give you that. I was picking you up from behind and at that exact moment the planets aligned and you proceeded to projectile poop out of the side of your diaper ON EVERYTHING. I got poop on my FACE, my FEET, the FLOOR, the CARPET, TWO...not one but TWO layers of blankets, your own outfit WHICH I HAD TO CUT YOU OUT OF, your HEAD, EAR, FACE, ENTIRE BODY. I ran naked, screaming into the shower with my clothing on, you in my arms as if we were just sprayed with napalm.

I have just finished using resolve on the carpet. I am washing the bed sheets. You have had a bath for the 2nd time tonight and are snug in a new, clean outfit with a new clean diaper. No one has ever pooped on my face. Well, tonight son, apparently I can cross that little number off the list: get poop simultanously in your eye and on your foot, check!

And YES. For all this crap, no pun intended, this WILL be read by your prom date. Hi Abiel's future prom date!!!! We want you to be safe and have a good time tonight. No drinking and driving! Take a ton of pictures and make sure Abiel is a gentleman and opens your door and pulls out your chair.

 Something this awesomely horrific has to be read at the ultimate embarrasing moment. You pooped on my face Abiel, and your own face. I had to cut you out of your outfit. There are no words.

Oh, and how much poop actually landed in the diaper itself? Yeah. Of course, NONE. :-)